Monster-Armed into Insanity

I know that moms are supposed to be angelic creatures with endless patience who think that everything their child--especially their infant--does is cute and wonderful and smart. I am not a perfect mom, though, and I will be the first one to admit it. I am flawed; there are things that my baby boy does that frustrate, irritate, and/or annoy me.

The most annoying thing he does is the monster arm. For those of you who don't know what the monster arm is, let me illuminate you. The monster arm is S.'s special trick he does to keep himself awake. He stiffens his arm like Frankenstein in the old black and white movie and thrashes it up and down, up and down, up and down, hoping to hit mommy in the face or other parts of her body as many times as possible.

While this would be supremely annoying any time, it is almost unbearable at three in the morning. It's even more unbearable when he does it ALL. . . NIGHT. . .LONG.

Obviously, I am committing more than one child-raising sin here. Not only does my infant sometimes annoy me, he sleeps in my bed, too (gasp!). (When you are done hyperventilating over the dangers of our sleeping arrangement and finish typing your death threat letter out, please continue to read. ) I am a reluctant bed-sharer. Initially, S. slept in his co-sleeper next to our bed. When he would wake up crying, I would lift him out, sit up, and nurse him. This was extremely uncomfortable and would wake me up just enough to make it difficult to go back to sleep. When he was about two months old, I stumbled into nursing while laying down and we both became addicted to this. The problem began after a few nights of this type of nursing. I began to get comfortable with it and I was soooo tired--I ended up falling asleep with S. nestled beside me. At first, this was a godsend; I was finally able to get some sleep. After a month or two, however, I was more than ready to have my own space back, as S. would follow my every body shift like a heat-seeking missile until I was cornered onto a tiny sliver of bed. I would wake up feeling like I was eighty years old and suffering from severe arthritis.

I haven't been able to move him to his own co-sleeper until just very recently. I thought we were really making some progress toward him sleeping in his own space. However, with the onset of serious teething, he sometimes has nights where Mommy snuggles are all he wants and he cries and cries every time I try to put him in his co-sleeper. Hence, the situation I was in last night.

S. cried last night every time he was away from my warmth, but he also spent the majority of the night using his monster arm to try to crack my skull like an egg. Monster arm doesn't hurt, but it's supremely irritating to get hit over and over and over again by a half-asleep baby who will not stop. I tried to channel my inner Buddha, but instead, I just cried a little--on the inside--until he succumbed to sleep.

The thing that made last night worth it was to see smiling, bouncy, morning S. at 7:15 this morning despite his restless night. In spite of monster arm (which I hope you understand is a really really big deal), my son is truly the best baby on the planet. Sorry, other moms, I know the truth hurts, but there it is.