Differences Between a Newborn and a 5 (Almost 6) Month Old

Newborns:
1. Have to eat every 2 or three hours, which means they are eating ALL the time.
2. Sleep the 15 minutes in between feedings.
3. Have to be held and held. . . and held some more, so much so that you might as well superglue them to your arm.
4. Are kind of half-cooked. Their brain and bodies don't function at 100%. Either that, or somebody is getting them high.
5. Are completely dependent on you.
6. Eat 6-8 times throughout the night and search for the food source like a little blind mole, mouth open and eyes glued shut, moving the head side to side desperately.

5 (Almost 6) Month Olds:
1. Like to snack throughout the day and act like they haven't eaten for days, maybe weeks, every time they eat, even if they ate five. . . minutes. . . ago.
2. Takes one or two long naps (aaaahhhh, bliss).
3. Are almost too well-done. Look around like they have the world already figured out. Try to undo car seat belt and feed self even though experience with feeding utensils is very limited.
4. Think that they are completely independent of you, but cannot sit up for longer than 30 seconds without falling over.
5. Eat 2-6 times throughout the night (depending of whether a growth spurt is happening or not) and search for the food source like a homing beacon, mouth open and eyes glued shut, latching on before everything is even fully situated.